Mentors -- a key to success as a Massage Therapist

"The ordinary literary man, even though he be an eminent historian, is ill-fitted to be a mentor in affairs of government. For ... things are for the most part very simple in books, and in practical life very complex."
Former President Woodrow Wilson

You’ve got your certificate from your massage school. You passed the national certification test. You’ve got your state license. And now you’re pushed into a new career, not really knowing anything but the most basic guidelines about how to succeed.

Who you gonna call? Your mentor. Every successful massage therapist I talked with said they’d be lost without one.

What is a mentor? Basically, it’s someone who has more experience than you and can answer questions about how to do modalities, improve techniques, solve ethical issues, or just give moral support. They’re guides, gurus, teachers, friends, and antagonists. They’re your guardian angel and your big brother at the same time, someone who can pat you on the back with one hand and give you a push with the other. If you meet someone who you’d ‘want to be like when you grow up,’ then consider this person as a good candidate to become your mentor.

They’re also often experts with advanced training and accomplishments in a particular field. Is there someone that you know who has a long list of clients and does great marketing? Or an MT who’s well known for a particular modality? How about a financial planner or banker who sets up accounting systems and explains complex money issues easily? Or a nurse who impresses you with their ‘bedside manner?’ They can be older, younger, the same age, the same sex, the opposite sex, live next door, live across the country, work for a competitor, work for the same employer -- mentors can be any one you know who can help you accomplish any goal you may have.

Most importantly, a mentor is someone who you can feel comfortable with, someone you can trust.

Right now I have two mentors. One has been a MT for 15+ years and can answer questions that I have about unfamiliar situations (like can you use essential oils during a prenatal massage) or ethical boundary issues (like how to talk with a client about being consistently late for their appointments). The other is a member of my local Small Business Association, and gives me feedback on my business plan, marketing, and accounting.

Here are some tips about where to find a mentor, how to develop your relationship, and when to move on.

Where to look

· Teachers
This one is probably the easiest place to find a mentor. Did you connect with one of you massage school instructors? Did a guest lecturer surprise with their insights? Or did someone presenting a CEU class peak your interest in the subject?

· Coworkers
Again, a great place to look for a mentor because you see firsthand what they do. Some businesses team up new employees with more seasoned ones to help the transition into a new place. This is a formal arrangement that is often short term. I’ve also have a mentor who I used to work with, but though I’ve moved on I still keep in touch with her.

· Spa owners
Thinking about owning your own spa? Someone who’s doing it can be a great mentor. Since they’ve already ‘been there, done that’ they can give great insight into the ups and downs of the business.

· Small Business Association and Chamber of Commerce
I’m a really good MT, but definitely flounder when it comes to anything financial. So I contacted my local Small Business Association who teamed me up with Steve, who had run his own business for 30 years before retiring. No, he wasn’t a MT, but he knew the ins and outs of developing plans, setting up marketing strategies, and how to ‘package’ my business. And most Chambers have monthly ‘meet and greet’ networking opportunities – this is a great way to connect with people in your community and find someone who could be a mentor.

· Competing Massage Therapists
You’ve heard about this modality and found out someone in your community practices it. Or there’s a MT you know that’s been in the business for a long time and is well respected. Why not approach these experts about being your mentor? They may be happy to share some of their secrets (and maybe not).

· Professional Associations
Are you a member of AMTA or ABMP? Have you gone to any of their regional or national conferences? These give you an opportunity to meet like-minded people, and opens up the possibility of finding a mentor.

Characteristics to look for in a mentor

· Experience or skill in something that you’re interested in. The more your mentor knows, the more they can teach you.

· Ability to both lead and follow. Good mentors can teach, but are also open to learning new things too.

· Good communicator. I had one mentor who did all the talking. The only time he listened to what I had to say was when I’d ask a question. And then he’d go off on another story, blah, blah, blah. Good mentors listen as much as (and sometimes more than) they talk.

· They use many different ways to teach. They may know books or articles you can read to help you understand what they’re talking about. They can show techniques and describe what they’re doing clearly, then they step back and let their ‘trainee’ try it themselves. They may feel comfortable with you ‘shadowing’ them for a day. They act as a sounding board for any ideas you may have. And they have infinite patience with all your big and small questions.

· Gives good feedback. This can be both positive and negative, but both are presented compassionately, not critically.

Developing the relationship

· First, you need to feel comfortable with your mentor. This means you feel OK about talking with them, that you don’t feel intimidated or in awe. Mentoring is about building connections, not hero worship.

· Approach your potential mentor gently. Say you noticed they are really good at something (massage, business, etc.) and ask if you can ‘pick their brain’. Most people are flattered when asked for their opinion, but some aren’t. Be prepared to hear ‘no’ from them

· Set up boundaries. This doesn’t have to be formal, like ‘we’re meeting for coffee every Monday morning at 6 am.’ If you work with your mentor try getting together sometime before or after work. If it’s someone in the business community be prepared to work around their schedule. Mentors may not be available the moment you have a question, but they’ll always get back to you. Also remember this does not mean you become their ‘slave’ and do all the things your mentor doesn’t like to do (could you please do my laundry?). You’re creating a supportive relationship, so no backstabbing, stealing clients or ideas, or doing anything to undermind your mentor. Be sure you know what your boundaries are, and be willing to talk about them.

· Don’t be a pest. There are appropriate times to talk with your mentor, and times to back off too. I had one MT who would wait outside my massage room to ask me questions, even when I was with clients. Another would follow me around like a puppy, mimicking everything I did. That’s both unprofessional and annoying.

· Show appreciation. This could a simple ‘thank you,’ a small gift (like massage oil), or an occasional meal out. A couple mentors I’ve talked with said they become leery when someone walks up to them and says, ‘Hey, would you be my mentor?’ Too often these become ‘give and give relationships,’ where the mentors give but never get anything back. Be sure your mentor know how much you’re grateful for their help

· Long or short term relationships are OK. For instance, I had one mentor who worked with me for six weeks, showing me the way the spa we were employed by wanted certain modalities done. After that I saw him maybe twice in six months. I also have a mentor whose was one of my first coworkers from five years ago. I don’t talk with her often, but I know that she’ll always contact me when I need some insight.

Ending the relationship

There’s often a time when either you or your mentor will dissolve the relationship. Maybe you’re leaving the area, or have been offered another job. Or maybe you’ve found that you’ve gotten everything out of the relationship that you can, and need to move on. Maybe you discover that your personalities don’t mesh, and that the relationship creates more problems than it solves. It’s OK to let your mentor go, graciously thanking them, but explaining why it’s time to go. It’s also OK for a mentor to ‘fire’ you, even if things seem to be going along well.

And finally

Be sure to grab the baton when it’s passed and become a mentor yourself. Is there a new employee who seems lost most of the time? Or someone you’re heard negative feedback about from clients? Offer to take this person under your wing and support them in their career as a massage therapist. It’s following the Golden Rule, knowing that what goes around really does come back to you.